All I Want for my Birthday is a Painted Garage

It turns out I suck at this scraping the garage business. I rocked the main part of the garage, but the high places using a ladder are slowly killing me. I can really only get an hour and a half in before my knees and back are voicing their displeasure. The biggest issue is that the city of Minneapolis would like me to finish this painting business soon or I'm going to get fined...again. I had called the inspector after the first letter and he said that if I had made an effort I wouldn't be fined, but apparently he thought my effort was lacking because I received another letter last Friday saying I was going to be fined $100. I did call and leave him a message and if I don't hear by this Thursday I'll start stalking, er calling every department I can find until the fine is either reduced or removed. I started the project the last month of summer last year thinking it wouldn't take that long, but I really want to get either all the paint off or really smooth it down so I don't have to paint again for a very long time. I spent the month scraping and by the time the snow was flying, this is what my garage looked like:



I've spent the month of June using a heat gun (let me tell you how wonderfully satisfying it is to use a heat gun and peal the paint off. I've written very bad poetry about the heat gun that I only share with others when I can't keep it to myself because I'm in the throes of removing paint, or I've had too much to drink) and now one wall of the garage looks like this:



I have been happily listening to podcasts, playlists and books and working my way slowly through this paint removal business. I'm hoping at the end of the 4th of July holiday I will at least have this wall sanded and primed. Because seriously, it shouldn't take that long, right?

So I was complaining about this with some friends and they said they would totally help. It is really hard for me to ask for help but I thought I might be able to organize it around a celebration...like my birthday at the end of this month. If people came and went all day and helped, then I have a snowballs chance in hell of not getting another letter from the city. Maybe two people at a time can be on ladders and then be spelled by other people so nobody's back hurts. I borrowed a heat gun and have one of my own and I'm guessing I probably don't want to add another one because it might blow a fuse. I have a couple paint scrapers, a couple putty knives (which I actually prefer with the heat gun), an electric sander, one ladder and a paint sprayer. Then that evening I would have a big potluck bbq - anyone who didn't want to work on the garage could bring a dish to share and I will grill loads of food for people. My mom will bring ice cream cake for everyone.

So it may not be as fun as the chef's table at Cafe Levain last year, but I just don't know how long it's going to take me. Plus, I do have fabulously helpful friends. Maybe one of you will have a really useful tip that takes 4.2 seconds and will remain beautiful for years without additional peeling paint. So far my mom has been helping me work on it, but I'm hoping that on August 1st, there will be plenty of friends who want to hang out and peel some paint off the garage. The end.

What?

I have a blog? So weird.

Dear Vacation, let's make out

Yay vacation! Though I am pretty tired of flying all over this country (ok, mostly to the southern states) I can't wait to get to DC. I really love that city. So much information available for free. It's really quite exciting. I do in fact plan to be a huge geek in DC. In addition to spending the day at the Library of Congress researching slave narratives, I'm going to tour museums until I pass out. Add a few hockey games for the frozen four tournaments and it will be golden.

The only thing that bums me out is the weather. I think it might be nicer here than it will be in DC, though there is going to be more green there. I'm hoping that by the time I return there will be some budding going on in Minneapolis. It's April, for god's sake and at some point I would like the outside to match my conceptual model of what April is supposed to look like.

I purchased a fancy pants new camera for myself (fancy = new, not an SLR). It's amazing how much cameras have changed since I bought the first digital camera 6 years ago. I have all kinds of megapixels and zoom and I think it might wash dishes. I'm not totally sure yet.

I'm not bringing my computer because the last two vacations I took I've done a lot of work while vacationing. I always figure if I have my computer and it's the only time people can meet, then that's fine. But that also means I spend time traveling back to where I'm staying during the day and missing the opportunity to see more stuff. It's really my fault because I say yes. This time I'm making it impossible to say yes. I will attempt not to check or at least not answer emails on my phone, but this is also difficult. At least I can do that on the go. I am looking forward to the time off and lots and lots of walking and reading and geeking out. I can't wait to hang out DC!

The Brown Sugar Totally Tried to Kill Me

I was innocently reaching for the regular sugar when the brown sugar jumped off the shelf and attacked me. I tried to catch it but I think I smashed it up against the shelf because the whole jar broke and fell down the stairs into the basement spraying glass fragments and brown sugar all over the damn place. I looked at my hand and I initially thought I was unscathed until I looked down 2 seconds later to see blood everywhere. Good grief.

Grabbed a paper towel and headed for the bathroom holding my arm above my heart. Got the band aids out of the hall closet to find a single band aid remaining. Dammit.

Used it to staunch the worst cut and grabbed the first aid tape and using kleenex and tape managed to staunch the remaining 4 cuts.

Then there was the matter of clean up. Thankfully Lily was outside rousing the neighborhood dogs with her obnoxious barking so I could get the upstairs cleaned up first.

I bribed her back inside once the upstairs was cleaned up and then made my way down the stairs. Amazing how far glass can travel when it goes down the stairs. I had to make sure I got it all because Lily would love to eat some brown sugar even if it is wrapped up in glass shards. So I swept and vacuumed and shook out the rugs outside and will now wash them.

What a lovely way to spend an evening.

I still made the cookies as well. A woman with my last name will not be denied her baking time. I'll just have to watch the brown sugar a bit more closely next time. Or buy a plastic jar for it.

This whole Facebook Business

Laura convinced me to get a Facebook account awhile ago and I have to say it's a bit addictive. Perhaps more than a bit. I've had to close down the INTERNET so I'm not tempted to just check it for a second on the off chance that someone has updated their status or played their turn in Scrabble.

I love that people I worked with in England and the best friend I had as a kid have gotten in touch with me. I'm glad they seem to be doing well and I really enjoy reading even the basic comments. Last week a friend and I were discussing the Facebook addiction and she mentioned that her European friends post thoughtful comments reflecting on life and her American friends post what they are eating for dinner. But in the spirit of finding interest in mundane daily activities, I appreciate the basic comment captured in a single moment. I wish I had more time to get together with my friends and hear these basic comments in person, but feel like I am pretty much caught up with them when I see their daily comments on Facebook.

That doesn't mean I've entirely figured out the best way to use Facebook - it seems to be a mix of a professional networking tool and personal friend connection. I have applied the same filter I applied to my blog: don't list my address and don't say anything you would not want your boss or friends or enemies to see. I've read somewhere that you can create a professional set of friends and personal set of friends, so I think I will set that up as well...when I'm not feeling lazy and I remember.

I think my overall opinion is that I like the community of Facebook and I'm not sure how long I will be as addicted to viewing what people are saying or doing or posting, but until then you will most likely find my basic mundane statuses on Facebook and I am always up to a game of Scrabble.

I am totally winning

Winning I tell you! I got a treadmill last week and each time I get on I have decided that the reason I don't see anyone around me is because I'm winning. It puts me in a pretty good mood and distracts me for 5 seconds from doing the heart rate monitor thing. I'm trying to walk on it without holding onto the bars, but my balance sucks. I think I probably walk straighter when I've had a few drinks than I do totally sober. When I'm totally sober I swerve all over the sidewalk and heaven help the person I'm walking with. I will bump them multiple times. Of course, I don't care once I've had a few drinks, so obviously I must walk straighter.

So it's been a slow process of letting go of the side bars, swerving around a bit, imagining slipping off, smacking my head on the basement concrete wall and giving myself a black eye and treadmill burn (this is when I grab hold of the bars again). Then I would have to think of an elaborate story to tell people I didn't know because the truth is never as interesting and if I don't have to see them again I might as well make it good. A story they could tell friends over dinner or at a party. One that is plausible but ridiculous. Something like: "I was just defrosting the deep freeze and the next thing I know I'm surrounded by frozen chicken."

My favorite unfortunate incident was a teacher I had in junior high who looked like he had been attacked - there were hickeys all over his neck. He was young and a bit creepy and we used to make up songs about his creepiness. I can't remember if it was one of the students or the teacher himself who said he had gotten in a fight with a canister vacuum that gave him hickeys all over his neck. I don't even care if it was true or a lame excuse to cover up a very immature evening with his girlfriend, it was a funny story. God I was an asshole in junior high.

The thing is, I fall a lot. Last spring was a perfect example of how often I fall. My entire childhood is another good example. I always have my eye on the ground because there will always be something to trip over and I'm not that great at picking up my feet. I had thought that with the amount of practice I've had over the years I would learn to fall well. Unfortunately this is not the case. At least my dramatic spills have proved amusing for those around me at the time. when my feet grew to size 11 my mom tried to reassure me that the bigger the feet the better the balance. I think it's really just more to trip on and fewer cute shoe options.

So I will continue to work on walking the treadmill without holding on and if you see me with a big black eye and I tell an elaborate story...I probably just fell off the treadmill.

Give the dog a bone

Lily with her bone
Originally uploaded by wittyandsmart

I posted loads of dog pictures on Flickr because I was putting together the annual dog calendar and looking at them again today I just had to blog about the shih tzu who loves things that are bigger than her head. She's been known to attack a Care Bear and fling it around her head and take this bone for example. I got it for her about six months ago and it barely looks chewed. But she loves carrying it around and dropping it on the floor loudly. Probably to announce that she has entered the room. Must be her version of a calling card. I keep waiting for a bigger dog to come visit and chew the ends off of it for her so then maybe she can chew on it better. Until then it will continue to be her status symbol.